The Ego

The Human Experience By Alisa LC

No matter what self-work we do, we all have an ego. Its strength varies, and how we manage ourselves depends on how strong it appears to the world.

We need our ego! Most people in the spiritual community of work would be shocked at that statement as they are constantly trying to kill the ego, which is quite egoic. However, the ego was given to all of us for a reason, and if we understand what that reason is for us, it can be very powerful.

The Webster dictionary describes the ego as one of the three divisions of the psyche in psychoanalytic theory. It serves as the organized conscious mediator between the person and reality, especially by functioning in the perception of adaptation to reality. In much easier terms, the ego helps balance the constitution of the mind and the spirit in the body.

It doesn’t sound bad, really, when it’s perceived like that, but we all have such bad stories of ourselves or others when putting the term the ego into context. I feel it’s only when the ego becomes out of whack, and our constitution becomes unbalanced that this is shown in an exaggerated sense. When this happens, the ego can be seen as conceited and perceived to be something negative.

People can perceive a top athlete with a trace of this kind of ego to be self-centered. But having a reasonable sense of your worth is required to push through the limits to become the best in your field. Life's victories are good and necessary as we all have obstacles to overcome.

My perception is from personal experience on both sides of having and receiving the effects of an out-of-balance ego. When one becomes out of whack with oneself, it can show total removal of self from the living world when feeling powerless or lacking. Alternatively, it can be seen as controlling the freedom of others. In both situations, we stop using it to push ourselves forward. In both cases, we start inflicting it on ourselves or others.

As a leader, this is a very tight path to walk down, and the need to stay in the centre and not fall off the sides is essential. You can derail not just the project and the team, but you can lose yourself.

So, how do we keep our ego balanced to live within the achieving world and maintain a wholeness of integrity? Number 1 is we always need to find a balanced constitution first. No exceptions. I have experienced this on all levels. Unless we are living in harmony within, we cannot be in check with our reality. If we are in charge of a team or family, we cannot be a good leader. Your success will be limited, and how you feel about yourself can become lifeless.

If you can come back to the basics, your food, your sleep, your movement, your family's emotional state, your finances, and your wellness activities. Have a good look, are they in check? Do you wake up every day feeling vital? Are you meeting others in the middle? If the answer is yes, you are doing a great job! If the answer is no, well, you now know what to look at.

Only then can you bring solid energy to any team! Your family, a workforce, a business, a sports team, a charity. You will bring that force you have created within every space, and a feeling of balanced energy will be received. You don’t have to be a leader, being a participant in life is far greater than any Earthly label, you need your Ego in check

How can we look at ourselves and check-in on our ego? A good question to ask yourself is, is this something I would like to receive? If you manage a team, is this expectation part of their role? Is this how I would like to be treated? Understanding we cannot control their response, we can only try to always work towards a better outcome.

Within all personal relationships, the question is, am I giving them the freedom to be themselves? Even as hard as it is with children, we all need to ask ourselves, are they fully expressed in the home? As parents, we need to keep them safe, help them with their education, and support them as they grow, as the world isn’t always the safest place. But is their life fully expressed in what they want to achieve, and how do they show themselves to the world? Having children is great for the ego, and it is even better to learn how to keep it in check whilst raising them in a secure, safe environment.

Let’s do an exercise - I ask you all to close your eyes unless you are driving or operating machinery. Please do this exercise until you can sit in peace. We will do a square breathing exercise: close your eyes, take a deep breath in the nose for the count of 5, hold for the count of 5, exhale for the count of 5, and hold for the count of 5. Repeat this for three cycles.

Maintain this breath cycle and find peace in coming back to the reality that the truth in life is that the only thing we can truly control is our breath and the way we respond to the world we live in. Everything else is a work in progress.

Stay with your breath. Keep letting go, let go of the expectations, let go of what happened today or yesterday. I want you to ask yourself what you truly want!!! Open your eyes and write that down. Now, look at the basics: the food you eat, the sleep you are getting, and the movement of your body for greater harmony.

This is a really good exercise to do daily to help maintain balance in the constitution of the mind, the spirit, and the body. Our ego is not a negative part of who we are, and when kept in balance, it's our driving force that helps us get up and keep going. Today, I encourage you to start looking at how to find balance in all aspects of yourself. We were given everything in life for a reason, and the goal is to find balance whilst working that out.